…and after that, fuck role-play you can have it back.

Dragon Age is the Dre 2001 of RPG’s. It is not about new flash like casual or online play (WOW, Torchlight), but rather rolling heavy with some classic fantasy tropes. There are three races. Guess which ones? The classes are also traditional staples, no death knights round here, and no fucking pets. Steampunk elements? don’t make the producers of Baldurs’ Gate laugh. You better believe there is a blight upon this land son. It’s good and evil and the dwarves are stubborn, so hurry up and roll yer fucking guy. I was a little worried when there was rock music in the trailer. I thought some post-Dragonforce self-awareness might be seeping into the genre, but when I played the thing I was happy to find that all was well in the land of whatever.

This wellness makes it kind of a dissapointment when Patrick Weeks gets all flustered when people mistake games for (gasp) something fun. Something deep inside me wants him to cut the lengthy defense and just show some backbone. Be like, “yeah kid, I love myself a hero from humble origins, you dont like a dwarven underdog? well then theres something fucking wrong with you. If you can’t handle some fantasy shit, go play Bejewled on your cell-phone maybe” … and basically just leave it at that.

Slay beasts eve-ry da-ay.