The Walton Firm Memos

The dog is wavering and indecisive. It lurches one way over the crest of the rise, then as if against a strong wind, it gives little yelps and glances back and forth. Small tufts of hair rise along the back of it, but somehow, Ian assures himself,  not aggressively. Pushing his red, fat hand out [...]

A side note from an article on Russian Roulette:
A case report detailing the accidental death of [a] 23-year-old man, who died of a self-inflicted stab wound with a dagger into a wooden board taped to his chest, indicated that the decedent bore a tattoo of a skull encircled by a ribbon proclaiming “Born to Lose.”
Yeah, [...]

My understanding is that sometime in the 1970’s, some white guys who were essentially science fiction authors had to face some long, hard truths about how incredibly bad they were at developing plots and characters. In a sort of brilliant “fuck it moment”, they just started writing all the science-y stuff down, without letting literary [...]

Hmmmm, lets see … I’m going to go out on a limb and say that NO, you probably are not the victim of a falsely obtained restraining order. This seems to be something of a niche legal market, not surprisingly male-focused (the above ad is for the “Fathers Rights Foundation“). Consider this testomony:
I am yet [...]

Its here. go listen. This has been a tremendously fun project to work on it and all the people who contributed stories are amazing. CDs are coming in a couple of weeks.

So making these labels is an old hobby that I haven’t done in a really long time. The process goes:
1. Find a quote that is funny out of context
2. Pair it with a drawing that is only very vaguely related
3. Print and distribute
If anyone wants some of these they should get in touch.

So this is a picture of Grape Methamphetamine, which does exist. Some alarmist local-tv-news-types like to hype the flavored-meth thing as, like, a phenomenon of children-targeting, which I find to be bullshit.  Grape flavoring, or Methyl Anthranilate, is known to any serious candy-eater as the most sickly of all flavors (it is, symbolicaly, also used [...]

It had been one slow meandering lap from Broadway to the lake and back. (lapping mildly against houseboats, the water appeared earlier than I expected). On the return trip I trudged through an all-dirt sub-freeway park, and vaguely by a furtive, but public dinner party. There were several places I had passed that night that, [...]

I guess I should jot down some technical notes on how Se- Di- Te- runs while its still fresh in my mind. The basic jist is that I take my original text, translate it into some other language, then back to english, and in this way, the text is “digested” so to speak. I have [...]

I didn’t actually leave this note, it just occurred to me to write it up for comedy: